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lohanthony:

defilerwyrm:

internetrachel:

todallison:

this vine is better than all of paranormal activity

too much can happen in six seconds. we have gone too far.

how long did it take you to notice the second dude from the right licking the other guy’s shoulder

or the guy all the way to the right air jacking off

(Source: vinebox)

rgfellows:

dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.

The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.

And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life.
(Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)

At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.

And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."

And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.

And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.

And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

YO. ALL OF THIS^. Michelangelo was hella grumpy all of the time. It was fantastic.

However, as beautiful as this commentary is, I’m gonna make a little correction. The Pope isn’t the one in hell getting his balls bitten; that guy is actually the Papal Minister of Ceremonies a the time, Biagio de Cesena. 

See, when Michelangelo was painting this, as you said, lots of people were uncomfortable with all of the nudity (especially because the Last Judgement [back wall mural] was painted much later when nudity in religious art was even more controversial than before), but the dude who was the angriest was de Cesena. 

He was so angry that he reportedly burst in on Michelangelo while he was working (which is already a big no-no because Michelangelo’s requirements for working were mostly “fuck the hell off and leave me alone or else I quit and I will stab you in the eye with my paintbrush/chisel”.). He then proceeds to tell Michelangelo that this fresco is disgusting and obscene and shame on him etc etc. He also referred to it as “i stui di nudi”, which means “A stew of nudes” which is one of the best descriptions of a thing ever, if you ask me. 

So Michelangelo, probably on the cusp of homicide is like “Thank you for the notes. Now get the fuck out,” and de Cesena reluctantly does. 

Later, he comes to see the finished product and finds that Michelangelo had painted his portrait down in Hell to represent the Minos, King of the Dead. He has the ears of an ass and the above described crotch biting snake:

image

Upon seeing this and being enraged, de Cesena went to the Pope to demand that it be changed and that Michelangelo be punished. However, the Pope was SO incredibly done dealing with Michelangelo’s snark, tantrums, and general hatred of the world and everyone in it, that he didn’t want to do shit. 

The Pope’s response to him was literally to say “As Pope, I have a lot of influence on Earth and up in Heaven, but I have no jurisdiction in Hell. You’re shit out of luck.” 

And it stayed.

Michelangelo, grade A artist, snark master, and professional dick.

image

laurazocca:

I like drinking tea alone, and reading alone.

I like riding the bus alone, and walking home alone.

It gives me time to think, and set my mind free.

I like eating alone, and listening to music alone.

But when I see a mother with her child;

A girl with her lover;

Or a friend laughing with their best friend;

I realize that even though I like being alone

I don’t fancy being lonely.

after 3+ years on tumblr this is still the most relevant accurate thing i’ve ever seen

(Source: sp-lit)

rosejanenoble:

mindlessgonzojam:

that-random-romanian:

By Thomas Sanders

No exceptions.

All of the timing in this video is flawless.

(Source: that-spooky-random-romanian)

The Psychic Zodiac

  • ♈ Aries:

    Aries are incredible dreamers and can set their sights on visions they fulfil. Being the first sign of the zodiac Aries have a clean and clear vibration that isn't tainted by other signs. They are also 'right time' people. Susceptible to clairsentient

  • ♉ Taurus:

    Taurus are a very intuitive sign, they can sense when someone is trying to get past their personal barriers. They also have a psychic innate sense of 'timing' that seems to work on its on framework. Susceptible to Clairsentient and clairessence. May receive messages and synchronicities through music, arts, literature.

  • ♊ Gemini:

    Gemini are mentally intuitive, and have an uncanny ability to finish other people's sentences, or find the words they are looking for. The twin is the perfect speaker of the 'right word'. Geminis also have flashes of 'knowledge' with seemingly no insight into where they came from. Susceptible to Clairaudience

  • ♌ Leo:

    Leo are one of the zodiac's most pronounced psychic signs. Tell a Leo something and chances are they already 'knew it' by sixth sense, or some other phenomena. Also susceptible to Clairsentient, very open to receiving messages from the spirit world.

  • ♋ Cancer:

    Cancers have an intuitive ability to instantly empathise with people, and know how to comfort them. This sign is also a 'psychic sponge' one in which soaks up the moods and energies of those around them. Precognitive abilities are also pronounced. Susceptible to Clairsentient

  • ♍ Virgo:

    Virgos instantly know how things work, and how they can be fixed. This sign is also sensitive to 'vibes' and 'chills'; especially about people. They can find peace in the space between their thoughts. They also seem to know information before it is released. Susceptible to clairaudiance

  • ♒ Aquarius:

    Aquarius are a strongly intuitive sign. Electrified by Uranus, Aquarius stimulate others with thought, and have the ability to see things 'exactly as they are'. They are also know to be quite precognitive, and pick up 'signals'. Susceptible to clairaudience and clairsentient.

  • ♎ Libra:

    Libra have the psychic ability of being able to read other people and understand their motives. They can also instantly 'calm', 'comfort', and 'disarm' somebody. They can easily adapt themselves to peace others. May receive messages via music, smells and flowers. Susceptible to clairaudience

  • ♏ Scorpio:

    Scorpio live in a world of psychic phenomena. They have the ability to instantly 'read' people, ascertain their motives, and seep into their subconscious. Scorpio are highly intuitive, almost 'mind readers' especially about their loved ones ; vulnerable to clairaudience, clarsetience, messages and synchronicities. They can easily perceive messages from the paranormal.

  • ♐ Sagittarius:

    Sagittarius have an eery 'dead on' intuition. They seem to know when things are going to happen. They have a 'radar' in that, if Sagittarians are thinking about someone, chances are they are thinking about them too. Susceptible to clairvoyance, clairaudience. They can easily perceive messages from the paranormal.

  • ♑ Capricorn:

    Capricorns psychically know the pace of life. When it is time for them to grow, they start before any clues are out there or any information is available. They make the intense changes at the right times in their lives. They are born old souls, with innate wisdom.

  • ♓ Pisces:

    Pisces is the most psychic sign of the zodiac. As the twelfth sign they have walked in the footsteps of every other sign (may be the cause of their feet problems!) and instantly know how to empathise with others, comfort them and understand them. Also psychic sponges, Pisceans soak up the moods of those in their company. They can easily perceive messages from the paranormal; especially in dreams.

girlprince:

internetzahhakeriszahbacker:

fuckingconversations:

ferrousfellow:

darlingmelodies:

trustmeimadoctorwho:

girlgrowingsmall:

Being fit isn’t about body size or shape. It’s about optimizing your body’s potential to do awesome shit like this.

this is so inspirational.

For real. I am so tired of people equating fit to being thin. Fuck that.

this is the first time i’ve seen this posted with body positive messages.  great!

As someone who has done gymnastics in various forms, his height is incredible. Check out where his head is - nearly chest level! And he drops his legs down so easily, arms tucked back casually. 

Rock on, dude. You’re amazing. 

I hate that “you can’t be fat and fit” bullshit because it cuts an entire body type out of the equation.

People typically fall into three categories: ectomorph, mesomorph, and endomorph. Ectomorphs are skinny, wiry people with fast metabolisms who build lean muscle (think track runners or gymnasts). Mesomorphs are of the archetypal athletic body type that builds muscle while burning fat; they become bodybuilders and hunky actors.

Endomorphs, the third category, are always dismissed as unhealthy for the bullshit reasons I will detail: While they gain body fat easily, they gain muscle just as easily. But since it develops under a layer of fat you can’t see it. This doesn’t mean it’s not there. An endomorph could be a bear-wrestling Appalachian trail-hiking badass and people would still look at them and think “wow look at that fatass I bet they never move”. Bitch have you ever seen a linebacker they’re fat and they run just as much as the other guys on the team. Which is another point: endomorphs can do cardio and still be fat. Their bodies don’t let go of fat without a fight and the lengths they’d have to go to in order to lose most or all of their body fat (too much exercise, too little food) could in fact be detrimental to their health. Hell, I know a cross-country hiker with a beer belly who runs six miles a day without breaking a sweat.

tl;dr the notion that body fat automatically equates to poor muscle and cardio health is a notion that only works under the assumption that everyone is naturally ectomorphic or mesomorphic. This is not true thus this idea is wrong and stupid.

THERE IS SOME REALLY GOOD INFO IN THIS POST

(Source: 4gifs)

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